Last year was the first time in my life I broke my Black Friday rule. But I chose a store that isn't really over run with shoppers.

See, here's my rule. Once Thanksgiving comes, if I haven't gotten you a gift and what you want can't be purchased at a local non-chain shop, then you don't get anything or get something different than you wanted. Because that is the marker for me that says malls and shopping centers are off limits.

I don't get involved in the fighting over products, standing in line for two hours, being at the store at 3:00 in the morning, etc. There is no deal on this planet that is worth that kind of grief to me. There just isn't. And I don't understand people who enjoy this crap.

People, your kid will get over not getting the hottest toy on the market, and if he doesn't you probably should have spent more time showing him who was the actual boss of your household. I understand wanting your child to have a good holiday, but come on. We've all done without and still had a wonderful holiday.

Besides, think of it this way. You don't buy it for him, he cries for a while. You do buy it for him, he's thrilled, he breaks it 20 minutes later, and he cries for a while. Either way... the kid's gonna cry.

As for my adult friends, whom I will be shopping for, they don't seem to cry as much. Although there's that one guy...

Anyway, as I was saying. No deal is worth this grief. And I would be upset to find out someone went through it for me. Because I sure as hell am not going through it for anyone.

If you are shopping, please calm the hell down. Remember the world won't end if someone grabs it before you do. Life will actually go on. This is suppossed to be a nice, warm, peaceful time of year. So let's not go running into the stores for blood sport, sound good?